Thank you for your responses to my e-mails, and thanks for buying the Freddie Chapman novels. I would love to hear from you after you have read them. I have a third book finished, (The Best Deal in Bluefield) which I hope to release in a couple of months.
Several years ago I gave a series of speeches in a tour with the Georgia Chamber of Commerce. I was never sure if the words I had spoken had made any difference to the people who attended the events. Then, about three years later, I met a guy who had attended.
"Don, I can still remember what you said three years ago at the conference."
I was proud that I had made a difference. "What do you recall about the speech?" I asked.
"The joke about the technical bastard!"
Times haven't changed much. The story about the Cowboy in the bar seems to be the major impact that Freddie Chapman has had. I promise to put a funny story in each book, if you promise to keep buying the books.
Here is one of my favorite stories. Many of you have already heard me tell it.
I must apologize to the group I have picked out to be the butt of this one. The Redneck Weightlifter can of course be replaced by your favorite ethnic group, but Rednecks seem to be the only remaining group we can poke fun at these days.
A kid growing up in rural Georgia happens to see a Muscle Beach magazine, and vows that he is going to someday visit and impress the hot girls. He dutifully builds himself up, and years later makes it to California. He struts up and down the beach all day, yet every woman seems to ignore him. So he asks one of the other muscular guys what gives.
"I look as good as any guy out here, but the woman don't seem to be interested. What's the problem?"
"Friend, you can pump iron all your life, but there is one thing you can't build up. Tomorrow, put a potato in your trunks."
The guy takes the advice, and the next day is out flexing again, this time with a potato in his trunks. He struts up and down the beach all day. If anything, he gets less interest than he did the prior day. He sees his buddy from the day before, and is a little steamed.
"Hey, you told me if I put a potato in my trunks I would get some action!"
"Yes, I know. But how about tomorrow you put the potato in the front of your trunks."
Monday, October 6, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Blog Introduction
I have just published my second novel. I want you to buy it. My publicist tells me that I need a blog to boost interest.
I can think of nothing more egotistical than a blog. While I have had many articles published over the years; and have been an often-requested speaker at professional meetings; (and even won amateur night as a stand-up comic back when I enjoyed an adult beverage every now and then); I have trouble believing that Joe Public wants to read my ramblings.
However, I have been solving problems, and leading people, and telling funny stories for 40 years, so maybe there is enough “stuff” I can put into a blog that will attract a following. Understand, if you do start reading my stuff, the end game is for you to buy my books. I don’t make any money if you just read the blog and don’t buy a book. (Go to Amazon, and do an author search for Don Swann.)
So, what should I blog about that would interest you? My target audience is people who will buy my books. The novels are of the genre “business mystery.” I think that is a new genre. The story lines have a young consultant solving business problems that are “mysteries” very similar to the thrillers that Parker, Grisham, Child, and the really great mystery writers create (at least I aspire to their level of capability.) The difference is that my mysteries occur in a business setting. My lead character, Freddie Chapman, runs into problems in the business world that usually spill over into criminal mysteries as well. Along the way, Freddie applies some of the problem-solving techniques I have used in the real world for 40 years.
So, if you are a mystery reader; if you are a management consultant; if you enjoy solving problems; then you are my target audience. I intend for my blog to have material that would appeal to this same audience.
All of that was preamble. Now I am supposed to say something clever and intriguing to hint at what I am intending to ramble about in the blog. I know about 100 cool things, so I will try to describe one per blog. Then, after the 100, I’m done. (Don’t expect me to learn anything new after the 100 – I am old and stubborn.)
OK, this is in Book One (Paying Penance in Pervis):
He recalled the joke about the cowboy in the bar.
A butch-looking woman sat on the barstool next to him and asked “are you a cowboy?”
“Yep” he replied.
“Well, I’m a lesbian. I love women. I love the way they look, I love the way they smell, I love the way they feel. There is nothing I like better than making love to a woman.” Then she got up and left.
Another patron took her place.
“You a cowboy?” he asked.
The cowboy replied, “Well, I always thought so. Turns out I’m a lesbian.”
I probably should offer some deep thoughts here about labeling people. But I just thought it was funny!
I guess the drill here is to see if anyone responds to the blog. If a few folks do respond, then I will put something else on here, probably more useful and thoughtful than a joke.
Thanks,
Don
I can think of nothing more egotistical than a blog. While I have had many articles published over the years; and have been an often-requested speaker at professional meetings; (and even won amateur night as a stand-up comic back when I enjoyed an adult beverage every now and then); I have trouble believing that Joe Public wants to read my ramblings.
However, I have been solving problems, and leading people, and telling funny stories for 40 years, so maybe there is enough “stuff” I can put into a blog that will attract a following. Understand, if you do start reading my stuff, the end game is for you to buy my books. I don’t make any money if you just read the blog and don’t buy a book. (Go to Amazon, and do an author search for Don Swann.)
So, what should I blog about that would interest you? My target audience is people who will buy my books. The novels are of the genre “business mystery.” I think that is a new genre. The story lines have a young consultant solving business problems that are “mysteries” very similar to the thrillers that Parker, Grisham, Child, and the really great mystery writers create (at least I aspire to their level of capability.) The difference is that my mysteries occur in a business setting. My lead character, Freddie Chapman, runs into problems in the business world that usually spill over into criminal mysteries as well. Along the way, Freddie applies some of the problem-solving techniques I have used in the real world for 40 years.
So, if you are a mystery reader; if you are a management consultant; if you enjoy solving problems; then you are my target audience. I intend for my blog to have material that would appeal to this same audience.
All of that was preamble. Now I am supposed to say something clever and intriguing to hint at what I am intending to ramble about in the blog. I know about 100 cool things, so I will try to describe one per blog. Then, after the 100, I’m done. (Don’t expect me to learn anything new after the 100 – I am old and stubborn.)
OK, this is in Book One (Paying Penance in Pervis):
He recalled the joke about the cowboy in the bar.
A butch-looking woman sat on the barstool next to him and asked “are you a cowboy?”
“Yep” he replied.
“Well, I’m a lesbian. I love women. I love the way they look, I love the way they smell, I love the way they feel. There is nothing I like better than making love to a woman.” Then she got up and left.
Another patron took her place.
“You a cowboy?” he asked.
The cowboy replied, “Well, I always thought so. Turns out I’m a lesbian.”
I probably should offer some deep thoughts here about labeling people. But I just thought it was funny!
I guess the drill here is to see if anyone responds to the blog. If a few folks do respond, then I will put something else on here, probably more useful and thoughtful than a joke.
Thanks,
Don
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